Fear and Loathing In The Diaper Pail

This post is utterly unimportant, but I wanted to get it down before he grows out of them and I forget that he ever had them. Liam has these rompers with jokes on them. He has three. Ready for some comedy?

Why didn't the bear finish his dinner? Because he was stuffed!

What is a robot's favorite snack? Computer chips!

What do you say to a blue whale? Cheer up!

I have to take him to buy lace-up shoes. He has figured out velcro. Rats. He is also learning how to spoon and fork things himself. He knows how to get a fork and spoon with food on it into his mouth. This is not the problem. But scooping and spearing take a little more dexterity and he hasnt shown any interest until now. So I let him spoon his cream of wheat and I let him stab at his chicken nuggets. He's really not bad at it, considering baby forks arent pointy. You try getting a breaded nugget on a tine that looks like the cutlery equivalent of safety scissors.

Meanwhile he's beginning some primitive tantrums. He must have whatever he wants and whatever he wants is ALWAYS something he can't have. Or can't do. So he's either trying to climb on something, stomp on something or play with something that isnt a toy. And when he isnt doing that, he's crying and stomping his feet because I made him stop climbing, stomping or playing. This never lasts long. His attention gets diverted elsewhere or you can usually get him interested in a more appropriate toy. So far no real throw-down screaming-in-the-store tantrums. But he does get pissed when I make him sit down in the grocery cart. He's always trying to stand up in the seat. You can buckle him in, but he just squirms until he's facing out and then it's easier for him to stand. I usually let him chew on my grocery list. I've tried attaching toys to the cart, but he isnt fooled by that. He wants the list or the pen I'm using and since the pen is definitely out, I shop using a spitty list.

He's also getting possessive of me. I'm Mom and I'm HIS gal and he doesn't like Dad horning in. The other evening when we were getting ready to go out, I was looking for something to wear in the closet and Liam was on the floor dumping out all my shoes. Adam walks in the room and Liam gets up, heads over to him and starts pushing on Adam's legs, pushing him towards the door. Once Adam is out the door, Liam turns around the slams the door in Adam's face. That's just awful. And really funny.

Nothing else to report today. So far the millionaire plan hasn't panned out. I guess I'll take a nap.

Dude, I am totally addicted to Free Cell right now. For awhile I was addicted to web sudoku, but I figured out a loophole on my favorite site and it kind of ruined it for me. But Free Cell is my new time-waster.

I'm kind of sore today. Liam's new favorite game is "Monster" where you have to roar at him and say, "I'm going to get you!" and he squeals and runs off and then you have to "chase him" (i.e., walk behind him roaring about how you're going to get him). Then once in awhile, you have to catch him and roll on the ground and give him kisses and tickles while he laughs his pants off. It's fun for a little while and then you get really sick of walking around in circles while roaring. He's cute as can be, laughing and waddling around and falling down, but in order to see the show, you gotta buy the ticket. He also likes to be chased by the vacuum. Weirdo.

My brother and sister-in-law are hilarious. They planned a get-together for my mom's birthday starting at 7 p.m. tomorrow night. Liam goes to bed between 7 and 7:30. So guess who's going to be squirming and bitching and whining the whole time? That's right. Me.

I totally cannot wait until they have kids. They have absolutely no clue. None. Their days are completely booked with work, dinners out, having friends over, doing yardwork, going running, taking classes. Just wait. Whenever we tell them what Liam is doing, my brother compares it to something their DOG does. "Liam can roll a ball." "Oh, Scout loves to push his ball with his nose!" I love it. It's not that they believe that little boy = dog, but that they believe dog = little boy. Andy actually SCRITCHES LIAM ON HIS HEAD AND TUMMY.

Andy, if you're reading this, you're hysterical.

I believe the past tense of "glide" should be "glid".

I also think I should get a job. What should I do? Hmmm. I think I will be a millionaire. Yes, that seems like the job for me.

We're just enjoying a rainy day here at home. I need to run a couple of errands later, but it can wait. I'm going to make hamburgers for dinner. I mix the hamburger with worcestershire sauce and minced garlic. It's delightful.

Today is my mom's birthday. She was born in 1949, so that makes her 57. She's a CPA, so she's pretty much AWOL but I guess I better call her today and see what she wants for her birthday.

Netflix brought our movie for the weekend. We're going to watch Memoirs of a Geisha. I liked the book, so I hope I like the movie. The last movie we watched was Walk The Line, which I really liked, but I like Johnny Cash.

Yesterday I planted some plants. Which stands to reason. I dont know what else you can really plant. I planted dusty miller and purple alyssum. I hope it works out. I wanted lambs ears, but I cant find them anywhere and dusty miller looks similar and feels soft like lambs ears and the tray at Kmart was really cheap. I need to place my order with Michigan Bulb Co. I have BIG plans for our front and back yards. Trees, for instance. And I want some clematis. And lavender. And the back of the house is always shaded and they have this "beginners shade garden" that just may do the trick. And I'd like to spruce up around the mailbox.

I dont know what else is really up. I put the laundry away this morning. I have some baby stuff I need to store away in the basement. I dont know what I want for lunch. That's about it. As you can see, the title of this post is Random Goings-On.

The fruit salad song is still in my head almost two weeks later. Yummy, yummy!

And now, my new torture, a delightful ditty that goes something like this:

Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack! Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack! Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack … A doodle dee doo!