Fear and Loathing In The Diaper Pail

I think I just bought the last two remaining boxes of crackers that DON’T have a picture of that idiot Rachael Ray on them.

Liam made me play the Alvin and The Chipmunks Christmas song six times in a row today. He’s on a big singing kick. Sings the ABCs, The Itsy Bitsy Spider and “Sing” from Sesame Street. Except he can’t say the words fast enough, so he just sings the last word of each line.

Sing (SING!)
Sing a song (SONG!!)
Sing out loud (LAU!!)
Sing out strong (ONG!!)
Sing of good things, not bad (SAD!!)
Sing of happy, not sad (SAD!!)
Sing (SING!)
Sing a song (ONG!)
Make it simple (IMPO!!)
To last your whole life long (ONG!!)
Don’t worry that it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear (EAR!)
Sing (SING!)
Sing a song (SONG!!)
(and then a bunch of “la la las”)

 ********

 In other news, let it never be said that Liam doesn’t love his Grandma. He does. She’s the only one he’ll give a kiss to. However, it has become apparent to him that whenever Grandma is around, Mom and Dad leave him. So he’s scared to death of her. The last time we went to her house, he wouldn’t go in.

This coming Saturday, Adam and I have a date. For his birthday, I signed us up for a glassblowing class at a local glass studio. Mom is going to watch Liam, although he won’t be spending the night. We thought it would be a good idea if Mom came over just to hang out for a little while, so Liam would start making the connection that just because Grandma is around, it doesn’t necessarily mean we’re leaving.

So I told Liam that she was coming over.
“Ah-ma-ma?”
“Yes, Grandma is coming over.” He seemed fine with this arrangement.
When my mom pulled up in the driveway, I said, “Grandma’s here! Let’s go say hi!” and with an “Ah-ma-ma!!”, he ran to the door to watch her come up the walk. But when she stepped inside, he yelled, “Oh NOOOOO!!” and ran away!

It was entirely too funny.

********

 Emily,  you’ll like this. Tonight he wanted to say goodnight to his Mater toy. “Bye, bye, Daggum!”

********

Well, we may be making progress toward having to change the name of this blog! Liam is FINALLY showing early signs of potty interest. We’re not pushing the issue by any means, but any and all displays of interest are greatly encouraged. He has a little potty seat to hang out on if he wants. Today he lifted the lid and sat down (clothed) and then got up, pointed into the potty and made a flushing sound. Fsssssssssssss!!!!

We had to put a lock on the real toilet since he kept wanting to touch the water and the rim. I mean, I make an effort ot keep things clean, but this isn’t a fuckin’ laboratory, you know what I’m sayin’?

Woo hoo! I just scheduled our first two playdates ever! The last day of pre-preschool was Thursday and I exchanged numbers and emails with three other moms and I just made plans with two of them to come visit. I’m excited! Something for Liam to do! Adults for me to talk to! CRAY-ZAY!!!

 So we got Liam a toddler bed this weekend. This is going to be much harder than we expected. He wont stay in the damn bed! Right now he’s napping in his playpen in his room, next to the bed. At night, we put him to bed in the playpen in the basement so we can work on the kitchen. Then we bring him upstairs when we’re done, so he’s already asleep. The first night was tough. He decided to wake up at 4 a.m., realized he could get out of bed and proceeded to party like it’s 1999. Last night was better. But I couldnt get him to lie down for a nap. It’s just way too exciting for him right now. He needs to be confined so he gets bored and goes to sleep. Hopefully the novelty of the bed and open room will wear off and he’ll start sleeping in it.

Shyeah. And maybe later on monkeys will fly out of my butt.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. And I don’t wanna hear about it.

Naturally this time of year gets hectic. We’re still remodeling the kitchen, which is slow going, even though we work on it every night. It just seems like EVERYTHING needs to dry overnight for some reason. We had a serious sleet storm a week ago and while we didn’t lose power (how did we sneak past that one?), my mom and Grandpa did and so we had them spend the night with us, so that was another night with no work being done. Add Thanksgiving, Adam’s birthday, our anniversary, etc., etc., etc., and next thing you know, it’s 2009 and the kitchen STILL isnt done.

Liam stuff has been going fairly well. He’s lost most interest in the Christmas tree, so I’m not going, “No no no! Dont play with that ornament! No no no! Dont (insert transgression here)!” every five minutes. We only have like, five ornaments on the lowest foot or so of the tree and they arent breakable or chokable, but still, he cant go messing with them.

We had our preschool cookie exchange last week, so I’ve been baking. I made oatmeal raisin cookies. And you know what? MY COOKIES WERE BEST. Then this week we had the preschool Christmas party, which went really well. Liam had a great time. We played, made two crafts (a door hanger with Christmas stickers and a construction-paper Christmas tree with pom-poms, tissue paper and sequins glued on), had a snack, went Christmas caroling and then had a visit from Santa (one of the dads in a Santa suit). He was VERY interested in the Santa part. Too shy to go meet him (and I didnt push him, either, because we all know that Santa is scary as hell), but definitely interested. Wanted to walk by him a lot. It was funny. Then at the end of the party, I got numbers and emails from THREE MOMS whose little boys Liam plays with most at school. So we have some friends this winter! Play dates! Adult conversation! WOO HOO!!! I’m quite excited. Their names are Carter, Spencer and Chris.

This evening, Adam is going out to buy Liam a BIG BOY BED. Well, a little boy bed, I guess. One of those toddler size ones. His nursery room wont really accommodate a twin size bed and this way we dont have to buy a new mattress or linens for now. But its time to move him out of the crib. If the rail is down, he can get in and he also tries to do some acrobatics when we wants out, which will invariably be when my back is turned and result in a concussion. When the rail is up, he’s getting better at hiking himself up and leaning over. Anyway, this new bed will require a complete re-babyproofing (toddler-proofing, I guess, which is harder) of the room since things are set up with the idea that he’s caged in his crib. We will have to get creative with furniture placement to make wires inaccessible and the gliding ottoman and possibly the rocking chair will have to go. How we’ll keep him in his room I have no idea. We cant shut the door, but a gate will allow too much noise and light. This should be verrrrrrry interesting. Very interesting indeed.

In other news, and I probably shouldnt even be publishing this, so I may take it down eventually, is that we have to take Liam to a pediatric urologist. His circumcision didnt heal quite right, so we have to look into what should be done. Whatever your opinions are on circumcision, kindly keep them to yourself, as I am not interested.

In any case, it doesnt hurt him or bother him, but the long-term implications could be a problem and we’d really rather have things taken care of while he is A. too young to remember anything and B. not potty-trained, so it’s always covered by a diaper and not handled by him. Of course, pediatric urologists are not a dime a dozen, so the doctor can’t even look at him to evaluate the situation until early January.

The problem doesnt appear to be a huge deal, but it will most likely involve minor surgery … and on a squirmy little toddler that means general anesthesia. Our pediatrician said it would be a one-day thing though, not overnight. They’ll probably put him out, do the job and give him a bed until he wakes up and then we take him home. I’m HOPING we can get this all done and healed by his birthday.

Anyway, thats all thats up here. I’m looking forward to Christmas so we can get some new toys up in this heezy.